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Archive for the ‘cleaning’ Category

Another visit to a village.  Another incredible time with an incredible family which feels like some kind of gift I do not deserve.  But what to do but completely soak it in which, of course, is what I did.

This time another PCV and I, plus a Latvian friend of mine from the European Volunteer Service, headed to Privolnoye up in the mountains near the Georgian border.  We met Ruzana, an ethnically Russian woman who returned to her village after a disheartening time trying to make a life in the capital city.  Ruzana runs a hugely successful children’s club which she started in her village from scratch.  The club meets daily in a partially run down building, the bottom floor of which was preserved by World Vision to help set up a health post and later to house Ruzana’s efforts.

From the outside, the building looks like a crumbling mess, but inside you’ll find a brightly painted room with shelves full of costumes, art supplies, toys and books.  There are two new computers and two sets of furniture that World Vision provided.  Of course, what is much more impressive than this slowly developed facility is the devotion of the club’s participants.  Comprised of mosly young girls with only a couple of exceptions, the kids meet everyday with Ruzana to practice songs, poetry recitation, theatre performance and dance.

I personally feel like a sham compared to this lady and her work with these kids.  I asked her, this highly motivated and innovative woman why she doesn’t try to work in a larger town or city.  “You’re clearly skilled,” I told her in my somewhat comfortable Armenian.

“I could,” she said, “but I tried living in the capital.  I was working all the time, and the life there was just so hard.  I worked a lot with very little reward.  And while I was there I kept thinking, ‘Every sweet thing I have tasted in my life, every happy memory, it is back home in my village, Privolnoye.” She paused to sip from her coffee cup. “So I came back here.  I just hope that the kids in this village are able to experience all of the good things I experience in this beautiful place.  Why would I want to go somewhere else when I can work towards this here?”

I, a middle class American with a short commitment as a Peace Corps volunteer, am simply humbled by that commitment to this small remote group of people.  And after only a few hours in her home, I understood what a beautiful life her village had to offer.

When we weren’t working with Ruzana in her children’s club, we were hosted in her home.  We sat and chatted over cups of Armenian coffee, turning the cups over and joking about what our fortunes might be.  Ruzana’s mother, a round-faced, thinned-eyed smiler, told me story after story about life in the village, about her children growing up, about taking care of her home, and about the first years of marriage to her husband, Dadya Roma.

“I was fifteen when we got married,” she told me.  “I had a daughter within the year, but Dadya Roma and I were insistent that we finished school. We would work all day on our farm, and then from 7 to 11:30 at night we would leave the baby with my mother and go to school.  Then we would wake up and do it all again.”  She smiled at her husband, proud of their commitment to themselves and to providing a high standard for their family.

“And my wife,” Dadya Roma continued, “she would carry a bottle of vodka in her bag for me and fold little drinking cups out of our school papers.”  He mimed taking a shot, laughed and slapped his leg.

We talked late into the night, me insisting that, despite Armenian cultural rules, Americans feel much more included if we’re allowed to do some cleaning up after dinner.  So, in the tiny kitchen we talked about my family, life in Texas, what winter was like there.

On the second morning I asked if I could wash my hair.  “My head gets very oily,” I explained to Ruzana, pretending to squeegie oil from my bangs and flick it on her.  I had thought she would heat up a kettle of hot water so I could do a quick rinse, but her mother instead lit the wood stove under the bath basin, and before I knew it I was standing barefoot on years-smoothed, wooden planks throwing steaming water over myself.  Later, warming up by the wood stove in the living room, I explained to Dadya Roma that people pay a lot of money for a sauna in the States, and they have a wonderful one right here.  He jokingly stuck out his hand and asked for 1000 dram.

We came to the village to work on a tourism project, setting up a blog for the village to use for attracting visitors.  However, for me the real fun came with an unexpected project Ruzana set up herself.  Knowing we were coming, she organized a trash clean-up in her village.  This is a fairly standard small project for Peace Corps volunteers to do, and I was expecting the usual plastic grocery sacks, unenthused kids and disillusioning moment where we realize that we don’t know what to do with the trash.  But that’s not what Ruzana had in mind.

She asked World Vision to provide matching shirts (they brought donated NFL XL turtlenecks), plastic gloves and large, donated, pink biohazard bags.  Ruzana and her girls sewed and decorated two costumes to look like bags of trash.  I, the long gangly American ,was invited to wear one of them.  Ruzana wore the other, both of us pretending to be a bit of trash.  Then while the kids were cleaning, Ruzana and I stopped people on the street with a dialogue that went something like this:

Ruzana as Trash, “Don’t you think trash is beautiful? Don’t you think that there should be trash covering our village streets?”

Passerby, “Well, no.”

Ruzana as Trash, “What?!  You don’t think there should be trash all over out village?  Brent, did you hear that?  This guy is clearly not on our side.  Sir, I think if you don’t think there should be trash in our village then you should just go over and help those kids get rid of it.”

And it worked.  Our group of eight girls grew to about 30 young people and even adults stopped to help for a bit.  And after I exclaimed that they were gathering up my family in bags, after I saved one candy wrapper saying that it was my dear dear grandmother, the kids brought every piece of trash to me asking me which member of my family they were holding.  They all ended up in the biohazard bag.

Later that afternoon, Ruzana’s brother, Gevorg, drove a few of us out to the hills to have a mushroom hunt.  The mist was thick; the road ragged and curvy.  I’d never searched for mushrooms before and Gevorg and his village friend enjoyed showing Greg and I the mushrooms we were missing in the loam.  At one point, with the voices of the others spread out over the hillside, I walked unknowing up to a ring of mushrooms.  I’d never seen one before;  I didn’t even know they grew in a circle like that.  Looking through the mist-drops collected on my glasses, I picked a few of them and headed down the hill towards my friends who were calling me back to the road.

 

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Today, for the first time in 440 days, I washed (some of) my clothes in an actual washing machine (as opposed to hand-washing and later  my trusty Riga-8).  Some PCV’s have actual spinning, see-the-suds-through-the-door machines.  I don’t and was thrilled at the prospect.  I was not. however, prepared for what happened next.  After washing them, after they had been squeezed to non-drip perfection in the mystical centrifuge, I put them in another futuristic dream-land contraption: A DRYER.

I even used A DRYER SHEET.

Y’all.

I was a little afraid my clothes would break the machine with all the dirt that surely remains  tucked into seams and pockets despite all of Riga-8′s best efforts to spin my garments in soon-brown water.  One good go in a spin-washer within two years, that’s pretty good I think.  And yes, after the dryer I DID take them out in a bundle and hug my PCV friend with all the warm clothes in between us.  A particular and peculiar joy.

Now I’m going to go take a shower and put on clean blue jeans that fit snug all over.

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Spring Chicken is quite upset with me.  It has been raining for a few days.  Rain makes mud.  Mud gets stuck in paws and then leaves stains on clothes and tracks on the office’s tile floor.  I am not allowed to keep her inside the cottage and bringing her mud ridden to work would be the end of her office life altogether.  So I leave her behind bars, and she screams at me and shivers in her little cage.

Guilt is not a good way to start (multiple) days.  It is also little use to follow them with days of Reneging On Your Plans and Wondering What You Should Do With Your Days/Life and General Work Dissatisfaction and Further Whining About All of the Above Plus My Current Ant Problem.

Since my water only runs from 10am-1pm, I stay home two mornings a week to wash dishes and laundry and myself.  This morning after such cleaning, I made myself brunch, two egg and chicken wiener tacos and a glass of water.  The first bite I noticed a new flavor, a distinct taste of dirt.  This was my last piece of lavash so I attributed the taste to staleness.  However, during a later chew I noticed the blue-green dots on the second taco which could not be attributed to staleness.  These were signs of a new life, one I would rather not ingest.  I searched the taco in hand for such colors, and finding none I continued eating while ripping away the offending half of taco 2.  Getting towards the end of A Serious Man, a movie about the crescendoing crumble of man’s life and emotional health, I picked up taco 2 and began to eat.  I tasted the dirt again, and chose to believe in staleness instead of growth.  It wasn’t until taco 2 punched my soft pallet with a foul wave of dirt-taste that I looked down at the lavash which was now chicken-pocked on the inside with blue-green dots and had a final half-blot of mold on a piece hanging down into the taco’s inside.  I ejected the other half-blot from my mouth along with have chewed bits of egg and chicken wiener.  I heard Spring Chicken outside in her cage whining to be let go, and I joined her with a few small whimpers of my own.

That said, take heart, friends.  There are patches of sunlight coming in through the clouds.  Consider these rose-colored bits o’ life:

1.  I paused in the middle of writing this blog because my coworker, Davit, wanted to quiz me in Armenian words for fruits and vegetables.  The only one I didn’t recognize was a mysterious yellow melon I’m not sure I’ve ever eaten.  Still better than word recognition was the exchange.  It feels good to have friends.  In a few minutes I’m going to go have tea with them.

2.  I am consistently making pretty dang incredible choclate chip cookies.  If you visit my cottage sometime, I will make them for you.  (However, it seems that my town is without milk.  I found one Russian milk product but the aftertaste is so much of old cheese I can’t stomach it.)

3.  I’m reading my first book on Buddhist practice, one by Director of Gampo Abbey, Pema Chödrön.  Based on this reading, I don’t think I could ever really become buddhist; I am much too attached to narrative thanks to my Judeo-Christian roots.  But besides basic meditation practice and an overall admonition to love all parts of yourself and lighten up, I found some real gems including my new favorite religious ritual, Feeding the Ghosts.  Chödrön talks about Ghosts as those negative aspects of you that are often unreasonable, the kind of feeling that is there when you wake up and eats away at you all day.
The idea of Feeding the Ghosts is that you invite those Ghosts, those difficult and hard-to-reason feelings close to you.   Ritually, you do this by offering them cake.  Literally, you put out a tiny cake each morning or offer it during a small ceremony.  You put out a cake for your Ghosts.  From the book: “There is even an incantation that says, ‘Not only do I not want you to go away, you can come back any time you like  And here, have some cake.’”
I am so in love with this idea for it’s hilarity and it’s message I think I’m going to start putting out cakes as soon as possible.  But I have to learn how to make cake.  I wonder if Ghosts like chocolate chip cookies.

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Ok… exaggeration.   However, once I lived in a blessed land of spin cycles, in a land where piles of warm laundry fall around you like hugs, in a land where I used to actually COMPLAIN (?????) about so called ‘Laundry Duty’.  For the last 10 months I have lived in the land of back-straining, skin-removing, break-a-sweat-over-scalding-water hand washing.  But not anymore.  Behold:

Look at her.  My Riga-8, the old soviet solution to dirty clothes.  Peace Corps Volunteers refer to these as ‘agitators’ instead of ‘washing machines’, still skeptical of what that little whirpool of mirky water can accomplish.  The stars aligned for some volunteers who ended up in host families with standard Western washing machines.  Similar stars shine on many of my Armenian friends (with good jobs) who now have great washing machines.  However, my stars, it seems, desire my hands with a few less layers of skin.  After handwashing for so many months, I was more than happy to purchase this rusty little bueat.  Sure, I have to pour in water by hand.  Sure, I still have to hand-wring my jeans and sweaters and all.  Sure, my Riga-8 is a Wall-E in a world of Eve’s, but when your puppy pees on you after the very first nap on your lap, you rejoice that you will not have to hand scrub urine stains for the rest of your days.

Also, I will draw your attention to what many many outsiders have pointed out after visiting this area: the very popular Iranian brand of washing detergent.  I said in the last post how much I’m learning to love Iranians.  I love them also for this:

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You will not see any pictures in this post, and once you read on, you will know that pictures are NOT something you want right now.  But first:

I had one of those moments today. I’m walking home on a road I’d never walked before.  Raindrops are finding their way through my jeans.  The broken part of my umbrella is slapping me in the face with irregular rhythm.  And as I reached a long, wet stretch of road, I thought, “I really love my life.”  Because despite the weather (which hasn’t outrained it’s Spring Rain charm), I had the most amazing afternoon at a coworker’s house making ganachov hats (herb bread) and hanging out with her incredibly warm and kind family.  The whole family, Armenian males included (BELIEVE IT!), was gathered around the table slicing handfuls of aromatic herbs.  I joined in the ganach-chopping just so that hours later I would still be carrying that smell on my hands.

Really, I feel it shows great personal progress (with communal credit humbly given), that I can say “I really love my life,” after yesterday:

Yesterday starts as my days now do: with The Unnamed (puppy).  I take her out of the well-built hovel she lives in (remember, landfamily will not allow her inside but built her this nice little shack outside), and give her the morning bowl of soggy cat food (my Sanity’s leftovers).  She then proceeds to do her morning void, and I notice some irregularities.  I call my animal-loving PC Volunteer friend, aka substitute for a veterinarian, who says the dripping is probably a result of the deworming pills.  No worries.

We walk to work in the snow.  I try to tell The Weather that we should really be progressing forward with offerings of precipitation and scoop up The Unnamed as we hit the main road.

At the office, I give the The Unnamed another chance to void while I stomp around the cement to knock off the mud that lies deep in the crevices of my hiking boots.  This mud is a source of one very sore spot for both myself and the Armenian cleaner/cook/clooker.  For all these muddy months The Clooker has chewed heavily on my esteem, breaking into hysterics when I leave behind dirt clods on her shiny tile.  Fair enough, but during those same months I have spent a lot of time and effort perfecting my stomps and my doormat scrubs with some minor success.  I am now performing those morning duties while The Unnamed performs hers.  We go to the door.

After walking in The Clooker follows me, and upon seeing a dirt clod exclaims something along the lines of, “How can I live?! You are killing me!!”.  I have little patience for this in the 10th month of my service, and I exclaim back, “Really?!  What can I do?!” to which she says “Go! Go!  You’re killing me.”

I huff off to the morning coffee/meeting with the staff and afterward find my way to my desk to set things up.  If you do not want to read something horribly disgusting skip the following section.  Skip straight to the second line.

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On this morning I decide that The Unnamed cannot spend the entire day in my lap.  I lay out her towel under my desk and drop her to the floor.  She considers the towel but decides to traipse back towards the doormat.  I sense a potty-time and speed to her just in time to catch her in mid-aim.  Recalling her irregular, and I will now say yellow and slimy attempt at poop this morning, I swing her up and push open the door slinging The Unnamed’s butt mucus onto the glass.

Making a mental note to clean that before anyone sees it, I drop her into the grass and see the most horrifying sight of my life: round worms exiting the body.  It is the most foul mess of butt mucus and writhing white spindles.  It’s like play-dough coming out a squeeze machine but the play-dough is live spaghetti with burnt ends and the squeeze machine is a dog anus. I will never fully recover from this.  It’s the new eggs-out-a-frog-back.

I am then naesous for the rest of the day.

I tie-up The Unnamed outside realizing that the day after she takes deworming pills should not be the second day she spends under your office desk.  I type her up outside; she commences a days worth of screeching.

I then try to clean the glass door with toilet paper (no paper towels in this country) and fake Windex.  The Clooker catches me and says, “You are being shameful.  What are you doing?  You can’t do that.  This is TOILET PAPER!”

“I’m just trying to help.  I made this mess.”

“Shame on you.  You can’t clean.  Shame on you.”

Fine.  Butt mucus all yours.

_______________________________

(The easily, or even hardly ever grossed-out, can rejoin us here.)

Later, when my computer dies I realize I have forgotten my computer cord at home and make the long walk back to get it.  Upon returning I check the tethered Unnamed’s circumference to see if she’s voided any of her “problem” where she might be able to sniff/eat it (I know you would think she wouldn’t do that, but after what I saw, I realized how little I know about what the biological world can accomplish).  No “problem”, but I’ve awoken the screecher which gets me some sideways glances from coworkers.

I proceed again with the demudding ritual, having walked there and back over the muddy road to my house.  Into the second minute of scrubbing, The Clooker sees the fresh mud on the doormat and exclaims, “What are you doing? Oh, you’re killing me?  What will I do?!”  Boiling point reached.

“Seriously, what can I do?,” I screech back, “I’ve asked you a million times. I don’t have any other shoes with flat soles.  I don’t have any other place to walk.  I try and try.  I want to be clean for you, but what do I need to do for you if I can’t use [the doormat]” (I don’t actually know the Armenian word for doormat; I just pointed and said “this”).  She huffs and gesticulates and waves me off continuing the, “You’re killing me,” exclamations.  It is such a scene that the break-room full of people turns to look and even the accountant comes out to see what is happening.

Having gone through this almost every day for the last 4 months, I realize talking to her isn’t working, so I take off my boots (thank god I was wearing nice wool socks (thanks mom and dad)) and storm to the bathroom to wash the possible worm-eggs from the The Unnamed off my hands.

A co-worker comes out from the break room and says, “Brent, you need to put your shoes on.  This is shameful.”

“But what can I do?  I have no shoes that don’t have crevices in the soles.  I clean them every morning, but I just can’t clean them enough.”

“I know, but there are people from [our national office in] Yerevan here.  You could (he imitates cleaning off mud with a stick). This is shameful.  You should put on your shoes.”

I nod.  Take some deep breaths and cross the now revealed Yervanians’ line of vision to put on my boots.  Outside I slip them on and walk across the road finding a twig along the way.  I sit brooding and proceed to dig out every last possible fleck of mud.  The Clooker comes out banging the doormat against the steps.  I am brooding and digging out mud from my shoes; she is brooding and hand-scrubbing the doormat.

Despite the anger, the rational, peace-loving part of my mind, the one that knows The Clooker is from a very different culture defined by both geography and time, propels me to make a kind gesture.  Dropping the twig, I walk to her, give her a hug.  I say,  “I love you, but I don’t want you to talk to me like this.”

She says, “Keep your dog at your house.”

“What?”

“Keep your dog at your house!”

“Why are you talking about my dog?  The problem is with my shoes.”

“You went to see the dog and you brought back mud,” she says.

“I walked to my house!  THAT’s where the mud is from.”

“Well you need to walk on the dry parts of the road.”

“I’ve told you this a million times.  There IS no dry part of my road.”

“On one side there is dry, and one side there is wet.”

“I know MY ROAD.  It’s my road; I walk it every day.”  I am starting to seethe.

“I am going to walk home with you,” she says, “I am going to show you where the dry part is and where the wet part is.”

“Are you calling me stupid?!  Do you think I don’t know what is dry road and what is wet road?”

“I didn’t say you are stupid.”

“You said I can’t tell dry road from wet road.  You are saying I’m stupid.”  I’m done at this point.  I walk inside and try not to break everything I see.

I sit down and try to read something on my computer.  I am boiling.

A Yerevanian I have met before comes up to my desk.  He has been to our office many many times.  He is balding and wears sunglasses inside.  His head is large.  I know he is about to say something aggravating.  It’s his way.

“Ay Brent jan, is that you’re dog outside?”

Ayo,” I confirm.

“Don’t you want a big dog?  Why did you get such a little dog?”

I am trying desperately to gather the popping tethers of my temper.  “She’s fine.”

“But she’s so falkjwelkj.” ‘Falkjwelj’ is a russian word that I don’t know and forget immediately. I limit my reply to, “What?”

“She’s so,” and he whimpers and pouts his lip and droops his eyes and tries to mimic a little weakling.

In earlier times this man has chosen to make similar comments during times when he could rely on my foreigner’s ingratiating patience.  I suppose he assumes that such patience abounds.  It does not.

I look at him squarely, “Why do you want to come to my desk and say mean things about my dog?”

“It’s not mean.  She’s just so,” and he again makes the weakling face and accompanying whimpers.

“That is mean.  Why do you want to say mean things about my dog?”

“It’s not mean.”  He laughs.

“She’s just right for me.  She’s a good dog.”  He leaves, seeing he is getting nowhere.

Later at lunch, I eat with another coworker of mine.  We have boiled potatoes with salt, red pepper and onions.  I am still angry, but she actually helps me work my brooding face into a smiling one.  The Clooker, having seen how unhappy she made me, is now all smiles and helpfulness in the genuine way of a person who is trying to make-up but is not gifted in the art of Talking Through It, Especially With Someone Who Speaks a Different Language Despite Having Someone In The Seat Next To You Who Can Interpret.   The Clooker and I, outside of all things shoe, actually get along very well.  She was the one who gave me The Unnamed.  And here, as we have before, we make up; we actually bond over the ridiculous comments of the whimpering Yerevanian.

And right on cue, the sun comes up and the snow melts, and it’s ice cream weather again.

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I am a slave to water.  Water only runs for me from 10am-1pm, and last night I wasn’t sure if I was going to make it to Saturday which would be the next time I’d be home when the water is running.  I washed my dishes with little pots of water from the bucket, rinsed conservatively with thin, steamy trickles.  This, “My Water Situation“, has become my most aggravating difficulty.  I live with piles of dishes and dirty clothes waiting for the next free morning.  I have only mopped once because of Winter’s inability to dry my floors, but now that Spring is here, I just need to be home between 10am-1pm.  A couple of weeks ago I had such a bright spring day that I jumped out of bed for that Spring Cleaning.  I used every moment of running water right down the last gasp of the water pipes.

Last night, with my greasy hair and greasy chocolate chip cookie dough bowls, I realized it was only Monday.  I just didn’t see how my bucket water was going to stretch.  However, this morning, to my great surprise, the gurgling pipes beat my alarm clock to the punch.  They woke me with their churning at 8am.  I jumped up, pulled on jeans, and got to work.  I even had time to take a bath.  So today the sun is shining, and I’m clean.  I’m only now realizing that I forgot to fill the buckets you see here.  Baits vochinch!  No worries!   A bright warm spring day is enough medicine to get rid of that tiny regret.

But not this one:  I went to work last Thursday and didn’t come home until 9pm.  Sanity was no where to be found and now has been gone for 5 days.  People say she’s going to come back, that she found some tom to run around with.  However, I have no luck with kittens it seems.  I am remembering KittenCat who was taken by the neighbor.  I remember the lurch and slide of the big red van in the rain, the wet bloody splotch of blood on the driveway from my sister’s little calico whose neck was whipped around by the engine fanbelt.  There’s Little Critter who was THE BEST KITTEN EVER, that is until some strange lady carried his newly flattened body to our front door.  And way back when I was in preschool, I had Catcher, who’s chubby body was squashed under a couple of motor cycle tires.

So let’s just say I’m not holding my breath.  Still, multiple times every night I walk around the neighborhood or simply open my door to the chilly night and call her name, thinking maybe she’s going to run around the corner.  I didn’t realize I would miss her this much.  I was never the kind of guy who cried over pets.  But when I reach that point where I’ve actually given up hope, I just might surprise myself.

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I know, I know.  Wow. Very interesting Brent.  Thrilling.  But lets take a minute and really examine what this photo means.  First of all, in this cookie dough you’ll find vanilla, brown sugar and Nestle milk chocolate morsels, none of which you can find easily, if at all, in Armenia.  This is a cookie dough that brought together ingredients from multiple continents.  This is a cookie dough prompted by caring hands back in the motherland.  This is a cookie dough whose creation was so perfectly timed that it may very well have contributed to the continuation of my Peace Corps service.  Without this cookie dough I might have packed it all up and returned home to start a completely different path, a different life altogether.  So, we can say, this is a cookie dough WHICH SAVED MY LIFE, or life as I have come to know it. **moment of reflection in which I have a powerful, gustatory memory wave over me; I mentally roll some cookie dough around on my tongue.**

In other news:  Spring has come early.  I have never been more excited about a season in my life.  Snow has melted.  I got up at nine this morning and cleaned everything.  I pulled up the lumpy wool mattress and took them to the sun.  I swept and mopped.  I hand washed all my sheets.  I scrubbed encrusted cat poop from under the cat pan.  I beat the rugs with one of these.  I did it all under the rays of this incredible sun.  After six hours of cleaning, I played nardi with the Landlord, scarffed on Landlady’s fresh baked bread, and laid out in the sun with the Landcouple’s tiny daughters until we’d soaked up enough energy to pull out some pots and have a drum circle.

Spring, cookie dough, and a drum circle.  Looks like that’s the cure for me.

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